De-escalation: Listen → Acknowledge → Apologise → Explain → Agree

When to use it

Role-plays with an angry relative, frustrated patient, upset colleague or complaining customer; also questions about handling conflict.

The steps

1. 1

   Listen

   Let them speak without interrupting. Keep an open posture and a calm, low voice. Stay safe.

2. 2

   Acknowledge

   Name the emotion and its reason: 'You've been waiting four hours with your mum in pain — I can see why you're angry.'

3. 3

   Apologise

   Apologise for their experience without blaming colleagues or admitting to facts you don't know: 'I'm sorry it's been this difficult.'

4. 4

   Explain

   Give honest information about what is happening and why, in plain language. Don't make promises you can't keep.

5. 5

   Agree next steps

   Offer something concrete you can do now, involve a senior if needed, and let them know how to raise a formal complaint if they wish.

Worked example

Try it yourself: Role-play: calm an angry relative in the Emergency Department.

Common mistakes

• Defending the system before acknowledging the emotion.
• Blaming colleagues ('the nurses are useless today').
• Mirroring raised volume or crossing arms.
• Promising outcomes you cannot control ('he'll be seen in five minutes').

Questions that use this framework

• Role-play: calm an angry relative in the Emergency Department.Main frameworkChallenging
• Tell me about a time you disagreed with someone you were working with. How did you resolve it?Challenging
• Role-play: tell your friend that you have lost the laptop they lent you.Challenging
• Role-play: your friend has seemed withdrawn and has stopped coming to lessons. Talk to them.